For a long time, I couldn’t really challenge someone that I disagreed with. In the privacy of my own head, it seemed pretty easy. Their work was crap and I needed to share that feedback. But in reality, when that person was sitting across from me, it was fucking hard. And not just because I didn’t want to make them feel bad.
I’ve thought about this for a long time and I finally figured it out. Bottom line: I didn’t like challenging or confronting someone because I couldn’t predict how they would react. I didn’t think I was equipped to deal with that reaction. They might blow up, they might sulk, they might cry. I wouldn’t know what to do. My superpowers might not come through.
I got help building my self-confidence and skills so I could respond to any possible reactions. I came to understand that the world wouldn’t stop spinning, no lasting harm would occur and things might even improve if I respectfully confronted the situation. Now I’m able to challenge someone else knowing that I can deal with it. My superpowers have been fully recharged.
The moral of the story is: Fear, anxiety and low self-confidence block us from speaking up and addressing difficult conversations. Sorting out those internal issues helps us put on our big girl or boy knickers.
